a letter to self

almost afternoon.

i decided to write a letter to self.

if not now, i wonder when will it be. ma'a hifzillah.

tarbiyah banyak mengubah.
dari sebesar perkara ke sekecil perkara
dari zaman muda ke zaman yang masih muda (tua, erghh)
tapi tarbiyah Allah sentiasa yang baru.
tarbiyah Allah sentiasa utk yg memang aku perlu.

aku ni hina
terlalu hina
aib terlalu banyak
tapi allah tolong jagakan
aku tak layak utk syurga
tapi Allah keep on kata syurga utk org yg nak
aku selalu buat dosa
mungkin orang tk sedar
tapi itulah aib aku
aku, takut acapkali aku buat dosa
allah menarik nikmat kefahaman
tarbiyah
bukan aku je, tapi juga untuk anak2 usrah
acapkali, yg aku doakan
agar dosa2 ku tidak menjadi penghijab
kpd kefahaman mereka

selalu bila came across ayat tidak mengatakan apa yg kita sebut tu
itu lah aku
tapi aku sentiasa nak terus berusaha
utk nak buat
tapi seringkali tu jugak tewas
tapi kadang2 perform juga
itu lah life saya
itu lah tarbiyah yang telah mencorakkan hidup saya
aku saya kita awak
dan ukhuwah lillahitaala tu
bonus yang allah kasi
and itu paling best

sekian.

November 19th

Salam.

A new post.

After such a long idle.

Currently in final year of medicine. 

Huhu.

Wish i can go to the other course.

But parents are too positive and suportive that i can go through this.

But i believe, 

Allah has the best plan for me

Be sabr..

Allah, i want to be 2:30 and 51:56 forever till die let us meet.💕

when heart is being strikes

what the world meant to me.
when things happened unexpectedly.
time will prevail.
hard time will pass.
good thing will come.
Allah is always here
Within inside your heart.
i am sorry
things are not easy as i thought
Allah gave the best thing to happen
Allah gave the worst thing to happen
to the right person
see beyond the thing
see to the most positive side we can be
see till we found Allah.
just don't be affected. too much.

:)

crying longing to Allah. always did that when hard time comes. but why when in tahajud, its not so feeling as when i did at the other waktu solat. but, ill try until i get. inshaAllah.

bai

Farewell Ramadhan

salam and good day everyone.

Been only 3 days after ramadhan left, I already feel suffocated with the world. Not only the world, but me myself. Still juggling between the good and bad. Still juggling with emotion after ramadhan. May Allah accept my amal in ramadhan and may the momentum still be in the up up way mode. Ramadhan left, but not Allah. A really heart strikes for me.

Ramadhan. A different style and feeling felt this year. Could be due to better preparation prior to the month. Not that prepared much but at least there was as to compared to those previous years. Could be due to some rare occasion happened in life. Could be due to the challenge itself. I don't know. I think this is the first time that I care less enough to sahur and break the fast withh family. Huhuhu. Actually, this is the first time of being in Ramadhan and at the same time I'm acknowledging that I'm in tarbiyah. A wider spectrum shall I say. In terms of thoughts about tarbiyah and Ramadhan.

Will be continue later inshaAllah.

deep inside

I cried again
Being the most ordinary human being
You know why you're being tested
You know Allah is testing you
To see your iman
To see where you will return to
To see if you move forward or not

In the eyes of Allah
I cried because I love them dearly
That I cannot express my love for them
That the choice to make
Is not them
Because Allah's love is even more for me
Allah's love is greatest
Allah's love is pure

I seek Allah everytime I felt down
Everytime I angry
Everytime I miss someone
Everytime people ignore me

The best attention that I want to is
Allah's attention
I need no others
When He knows you love other more than Him
He took all of that
He tested you
He wants you to return to Him

And Allah is the only one we return to

it's december

Perjalananku semakin cerah.
cerah sebab aku tahu kenapa aku ada di atas muka bumi ni.
kekuatan yg ada pada diri ini,
datangnya drpd Dia.
aku menjadi lebih kuat dari sebelumnya.
sbb aku ada Dia.
Al-quran dan Al-hadis.
panduan hidup.
manual kehidupan.
seperti handphone.
andai tiada manualnya,
mana mungkin kita tahu
macam mana nak guna.
begitu juga kehidupan
Al-quran dan Al-hadis.
mengarah kita ke arah
yang sepatutnya.
which is akhirat
dunia yg sementara
penuh dgn suka ria,
riang ria tawa manusia
tapi di sebalik hati aku,
andai nya semua tersedar
adakah semua akan seperti itu lagi
atau menjadi serius menuju pengakhiran
arghhh kadang-kadang
ingin bergelak sakan
tapi,
setiap masa
setiap minit
setiap saat
semuanya utk Dia
kadang-kadang terlalai
istighfar pengubat hati yang duka lara

:'(

membawa manusia kepadaNya.
sambil juga membawa diri kpd Nya juga.

hi Hanis

Hehehe.

what a weird post.
i dedicate this to hanis amirah.
why her?
cause i think she's the only one
who took her time
maybe not much
but still she did
to read my post
because I didn't
read yours hanis.
nnt aku baca yaaa
hehhe
ok macam tah pape pulak
hi hanis.
lama tak jumpa.
sihatkah?
UM okay? haha
study okay?
hopefully all goes well for you
and be close to Allah all the time okayy?
:*
jaga diri jaga iman
;)